Who Is Esau Edom? kCouple references to cases of CTE included references felt like a detraction rather than an aide to the overall vibe of the book Also while its style is intriguing it began to wear a bit as the book went on There are so many events and so many people mentioned in this memoir that details get a bit buried in such a scattered account Overall however I liked the book for one main reason It is not the book to read if you are battling addiction self harm andor mental illness and you want something consistently uplifting to get you through a bad moment It s a raw account of what these struggles feel like and as such it is both triggering and emotional But having such an account that you can relate to even if only in small parts is important I would recommend this book to those who can empathize with or have experienced such struggles with the warning that is a heavy read one that you might need to step away from along the way but one that certainly has something to offer I went into this one with no real expectations but found myself consistently blown away by how good it was Roberge s scattered nonlinear life memories are multi faceted deeply personal sad often crushing actually sometimes funny consistently reflective no BS and totally sel You have scars you lie about and scars you tell the truth abouta memoir in second person what a countrynot only is this told in second person where you have experienced some truly horrible shit my friend but it s also told in nonlinear occasionally contradictory snippets as roberge who may or may not have CTE that condition football players get from being clonked in the head all day featured in that movie where will smith tries really hard to win an oscar by saying his line twice for emphasisand also depicted by treat williams on SVUand which can only be diagnosed in an autopsy records his memories in case he starts forgetting huge chunks of his life due to his condition yes i made a mess of that sentence breaking it up with all those pictures but i regret nothingalong the way he begins to realize how many of what he s always thought of as memories might be misremembrances flat out lies to shore up the mythology he s constructed about himself for others or his ownself or told because he s ashamed about not remembering so much of his life prior to the maybe CTE diagnosis simply because his lifestyle of excess You don t remember how you get a lot of your scars You wake up for years from drunken and drugged blackouts with deep bruises and gashes and cuts Friends tell you how you got some of them Others still remain a mystery You have told a lie about almost every one of them whether you remember how you got them or not to friends to people at parties and in bars to lovers who see you naked Sometimes you tell the truth Someone will ask about one of your scars and you will say you have no idea where it came from and you feel better for having told the truth but worse and deeply regretful that it is the truth That you have wasted so many years of your life That for years you onlynew what you had done the night before because a friend or lover would tell youit must be said that rob roberge is not a professional football player and that his possible CTE would be a result of concussions occurring while playing basketball as a teen head slamming seizures while intoxicated an industrial sized can of hot fudge falling on his head when he worked at h agen dazs make a movie of that hollywood on top of the repeated head trauma and the addictive personality leading to roberge s overindulgences in alcohol drugs and casual sex this guy s also got a serious bipolar condition for which he mostly takes his medicine but which still causes him enough manic episodes during which he remembers nothing to be than a minor inconvenience his situation isn t always common
Knowledge Even Among His Friends And Loved even among his friends and loved so these episodes can be misinterpreted by others at great personal cost but at least it sounds pretty It s like the MRIs you will later see of your brain The bipolar brain lights up and fires differently than a normal brain At your particular baseline which is a state nown as hypomania your brain looks like a lovely planet covered with an electrical storm A green and red planet with glowing white hot veins firing connecting everything It looks incredible impossibly beautiful It s where all your trouble liesgoing into this i was actually bracing myself for this guy to be of an asshole when you couple addiction with a brain chemistry that gives you the euivalent of a blackout experience where you re unmoored from restraint or typical standards
behavior well can happen and usually it ll fall on the side of dickish as unintentional as it may be and maybe Home is Burning lowered my standards of dickish to a dangerous level but this guy s shitty behavior wasn t shitty enough to make me uncomfortable while reading this book and he was actually funny as opposed to dan marshall whose desperate clownishness made that book such a drag to read this one on the other hand just flows in a delightful way i d been reading a book i just couldn t get into so i picked this one up before bed intending to read a chapter or two to get a sense of it and iof behavior well
Ended Up Staying Up Untilup staying up until in the morning and finishing the whole damn thing the fact that it s mostly written in these little bite sized fragments makes it incredibly zoomy to read and you re propelled from one little chunk of a memory one filed away statistic one anecdote heard along the way one fragment of life after another not even necessarily connected by anything obvious mirroring the way things float your own head with your own memories i mean i assume i don t now your headhere are a few samples so you can get a sense of it the way it moves but they re not necessarily in the book order or even the complete snippet i ve selected to suit my own tastes and interests You are nine years old You have saved your money from allowance and mowing lawns and harvesting potatoes at Johnson s Farm and you have purchased Bruce Springsteen s Born to Run at the Sam Goody at the mallYou look at the cover Bruce Springsteen is cool He s got a guitar Guitar players are cool even at nine years old you Sesame Street Elmo's Easy as ABC Book and DVD Flap Book and DVD know that much Your dad who s a narcotics officer says Springsteen s dressed like a homeless fucking hippie By nine you have already decided where homeless fucking hippie falls in relation to narcotics officer on the bell graph of cool You have given two blow jobs in your life The first was purely out of curiosity You wanted tonow what it was like And it was if not something you really wanted to repeat interesting You think cocks are pretty interesting You think they would be a lot interesting if they were attached to women A friend tells you that in twenty. Rlfriend to a diagnosis of rapid cycling bipolar disorder to opening for famed indie band Yo La Tengo at The Fill in San Francisco But the process of trying to remember his past only exposes just how fragile the stories that lay at the heart of our self conception really are As Liar twists and turns through Roberge’s life it turns the familiar story of sex drugs and rock ‘n’ roll on its head Darkly funny and brutally frank it offers a remarkable portrait of a dow. .
Three of the last twenty seven ring deaths in professional boxing the father was the cornerman It makes sense A fighter in trouble would never uit on his father no matter what ind of relationship they had And a fighter unable to protect himself is too far gone By the time a punch can ill you you re not even conscious enough to uit The fighter is helpless Only the cornerman throwing in the towel can save him Twenty three fathers didn t throw that towel If Audrey Hepburn shaved her head and looked like you should never ever fuck with her she might have looked like Michelle Easter You are smitten She at best doesn t seem to be Knowing something may make it a fact but feeling something makes it a truth And the truth is you are trapped You have nowhere left to go that doesn t make you feel like your life has added up in the end and despite some great moments to you being a loser who just can t stay clean Who can t eep people happy Who can t function in this world You re done Defeated You are in love with Lisa who once left you for a woman but is now sleeping with you again and she has always wanted to fuck on a bed of rose petals She has had this fantasy for years The night before her birthday you and your friend Nick pull every last rose from the Boston Common You pay Nick with a baggie of pot and he wanders off down Charles Street You put the clipped rose heads in five gallon paint buckets and carry the buckets over to Lisa s apartment and you pluck all the petals and spread them on her bed before she gets home from her late poetry class It does not end well Roses have insects Lots of them But at least you tried And you showed Lisa that she most certainly did not from then on want a bed of rose petalsin a way this book reminds me of The World is on Fire Scrap Treasure and Songs of the Apocalypse in which personal memoir alternates with history pop culture song lyrics and all sorts of other stuff in a poetical slipstreamy journey about endings i guess joni tevis doesn t write hers in nuggets like this but the unexpected connective tissues between her associative leaps are similar and they stir the same dream logic parts of the brain as this one Liar is earthier and ruder and debauched than tevis focus but it definitely awakens the same mind pockets in me anyway again your brain differs from my brain and is likely better at mathfast funny and not too douchey what could you want from a book let s call it a four i ve been feeling very four y lately35 4 somewhere in there i ll probably figure it out while i m reviewing it which is coming LGMcome to my blog Holy St This is one wild and crazy tale of mental illness and drug addition made even heart breaking because of the musical and writing talent of author and his desperate efforts to control his mind and his life The book is a jumble of scenes that jump around in time from the author s childhood through adulthood I seriously could not put this book down The vivid arresting writing ept me turning pages and even the use of you when the author really means I did not bother me like it usually does Excellent book for those who like dark stories and sharp writing Thank you to Net Galley for an advanced copy of this book I absolutely loved this book This is Roberge s memoir Snippets and pictures of parts of his life He was a hard drinking drug addicted sex addict who has bipolar disorder Always brutally honest and at times hard to read Roberge is putting down his life story because he may not remember it later He has had so many concussions in hi lifetime that doctors are afraid he may suffer from CTE a degenerative brain disease that can only be diagnosed post mortem The coolest part of this book is the writing style It is told completely in the second person He writes as if you the reader are experiencing everything he has It is incredibly powerful and moving I loved this book for its honesty in examining mental illness It helps stop the stigma associated with talking about it Well done This book caught my attention right from the 1st pageThe principal paired him with a new girl at school told him to take care of her and show her around in an attempt to The Body Scoop for Girls keep him out of trouble Then she wasilled This was in 1977 and even 40 years later he researched her death in an attempt to help himself feel better and less responsibleHer iller was never found and every
DAY HE LOOKED AT MEN AND THOUGHT THEY COULDhe looked at men and thought they could her iller especially before he left his hometown at the age of 18The book is a memoir written with excerpts from different times in the author s life In 1984 he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder with rapid cycling and occasional psychotic episodes and despite his doctor s many warnings he continues to self medicate with drugs and alcohol
on top of his prescriptionsThis book while not in chronological order goes through the ups and downs oftop of his prescriptionsThis book while not in chronological order goes through the ups and downs of man diagnosed with bipolar disorder battling addiction and sometimes trying to navigate life as best he can While everyone s lives have ups and downs these can be catastrophic when mental illness is thrown in the euation When he is diagnosed with a disease that will likely take his memories from him he decides to document all the crazy things from his life that he can rememberor mostly things that he remembers others telling him happened since often he was not coherent enough to remember and had to rely on those present the night before to recall what happened the night beforeI 3 3 3 a good memoir And this was a good memoir I also am going to school to be a therapist and have always been intrigued by learning about people s experiences with mental illnessesI m not sure how I feel about the book jumping around from time to time often years or even decades apart You read one excerpt from 1988 then read something that happened in 2013 I hoped that a reason for this would become apparent at some point but I think the book would have been just as effective written in chronological order but maybe that s just meSo I m speeding through this book really enjoying it then it just endsI HATED THE ENDING OF THIS BOOKRight now I cannot think of any other book that I hated the ending to it as much as this oneI do not want to give the ultimate spoiler and ruin the ending but it was not how the author should have ended itI actually had to check 3 times to make sure that I was actually reading the last page and that I had not accidentally skipped ahead or something since I was reading the ebook on my phoneThat being said overall I really liked this book Yes I did even though I just ranted about the way it ended I will not let the last few pages get in the way of my enjoyment of the rest of the bookThis book made me want to read other books by the authorI received a copy of this book from the publishers via First to Read in exchange fo. N and out existence cobbled together across the country from musicians’ crashpads around Boston to seedy bars popular with sideshow freaks in Florida to a painful moment of reckoning in the scorched Wonder Valley desert of California As Roberge struggles to eep addiction and mental illness from destroying the good life he has built in his better moments he is forced to acknowledge the increasingly blurred line between the lies we tell others and the lies we tell ourselv. ,
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LIAR is ironically a gut wrenchingly honest self portrait I always feel uncomfortable rating memoirs especially ones that deal with trauma and Rob Roberge has dealt with far than his fair share of traumatic shit I am tremendously impressed with anyone who is willing to expose themselves as drastically as Roberge has in this book I received this DRC free of charge from Crown Books and Net Galley in exchange for an honest review To be honest it is the second worst galley I have ever read The very worst lacked punctuation and was unreadable I wondered how a book like this wound up with such a reputable publisher an internet search tells me that he has written other books that were well received But I can t find any redeeming value here I actually came out of it feeling as if I d been played and I read it freeThis memoir is billed as a testament of sorts to the writer s mental illness I have a relative who struggles with bipolar disorder and I like the idea of educating the public and of advocating for greater support and funding for those struggling with mental illness and also addiction issues which are another ey part of this book if it can be said to have parts at all The two often go hand in hand the mentally ill using alcohol andor street drugs to self medicate So I was on board when I began reading But soon I found excuses to read other DRC s instead Today I made myself finish this thing so I could write the review and move onLiar isn t even really a memoir Let s start with the title some of what is in the book is true some of it is invented and we don t get to now which is which As if that weren t bad enough random dark matters the death of the last passenger pigeon is one are dropped into the text in no particular order In fact the text itself is not linear This is clearly intentional with things that happened or didn t happen from 1977 dropped in between what happened or not in 1995 or 1982 etc to let us see how confused is the mind of the mentally ill individual The whole book is a mishmash of horrors that may or may not have transpired just as the stricken person s mind may not always be able to discern the real from the imagined But for that we hardly need a whole book one short chapter would do the trick I wanted to believe it would prove to be an artistic and if hard to read avante garde approach to bipolar disorder by the end my head hurt and I was pissed How can anyone charge money for thisPart of the reason I wanted to read Roberge s galley is because it is billed as blackly comic and brutally frank but it isn t comic and it isn t frank I found two very very darkly humorous moments roughly between the 15% and 20% mark and thought maybe this was where the story would get rolling Not so much Nothing else and I mean nothing else was amusing If it had been billed accurately as merely dark and brutal I would not have gone anywhere near it nor do I recommend it to you If it were at least entirely truthful however disorienting and disjointed its telling I could say it shines a light on the mental health crisis in the US but since some of it is just tossed in for So honored to publish this memoir in paperback on Future Tense A brilliant and one of a ind memoir about mental illness death sex love memory and so much A darkly funny intense memoir about mental illness memory and storytelling from an acclaimed novelistWell This one just isn t working for me A non linear collection of stories about the authors struggle with mental illness memory loss and other events that I still can t figure out the relevance of The author will sometimes at the end of the story admit he made it up and it makes you uestion what exactly is true in this memoir I understand the goal it s trying to accomplish but I m going to have to put this one to the side Thanks Netgalley for the ARC Received as an uncorrected proof from LibraryThing for an honest review The first time I ever met Memoir was at the back of a high school creative writing If you ve been in a creative writing class or have always plopped down front and center in eager anticipation of being doused in literary genius I highly suggest a trip down the row to a seat at the back for a change if you re given the opportunity The literary genius might thin out a little bit from point A to point B but I believe it has its own charm somewhat like sitting at the back of the bus the vibe is different Especially when paired with the inebriating combination of dust motes and straying sun rays that a well placed window provides Our teacher a passionate proponent of daily free writing and red gel pens stood at the front of the room and settled into a reading from The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros Memoir expanded as if her presence were illumined Previously we d been on speaking terms but never really connected She ran with a different crowd Suddenly there she was a presence that was gaining the gravity of a hard and fast crush I think it was the energy and beauty of Cisneros vignettes that really pulled the curtain up on how enticing Memoir was At least that s how it connected in my mind for years one enhanced by the other with Cisneros style Lingering Over Any Thought Of over any thought of and shaping the ideal When I received Roberge s Liar the first thing I noticed was the style Roberge delivers his memoir in dated bursts the dates scattered throughout giving the book a conversational feel than a chronological one It s an intriguing style and adds its own texture to the book Much as Cisneros vignettes shape the taste and texture of The House Though I skimmed through the book when I first got it I put it off to the side for a bit I was wary of the content I hadn t read anything by Roberge previously but I had checked out the synopsis of the book and Insurgence knew it encompassed Roberge s struggles with addiction and mental illness I think it s increasingly important to have realistic accounts of these subjects among others out in the world but I tend to shy away from shock the reader writers I wasn t sure where this book would fall and I think its synopsis does it a bit of a disservice in this regard Namely in its opening line An intense memoir about mental illness memory and storytelling from an acclaimed novelistEffecting content about the realistic struggles of those with addictions of anyind and mental illness is important but affected content does harm than good in my opinion Though it was difficult to read parts of Roberge s book I
Ve Come Away Fromcome away from believing it to be the former rather than the latter There were parts I didn t like or didn t get I didn t get the point of Roberge enlisting historical reference in his memoir Other than a recurring story concerning the aftermath of the sinking of the Titanic that is expanded upon throughout the book and An intense memoir about mental illness memory and storytelling from an acclaimed novelist When Rob Roberge learns that he's likely to have developed a progressive memory eroding disease from years of hard living and freuent concussions he is terrified by the prospect of becoming a walking shadow In a desperate attempt to preserve his identity he sets out to somewhat faithfully record the most formative moments of his life ranging from the brutal murder of his childhood gi.